Hey, y’all,
Your very own Harvard Indy publisher and resident “Fight Chick” was on Ringtalk Radio last weekend- check her out at Ringtalk.com! It’s the second Quicktime link on the right. Enjoy!
Archive for May, 2007
Ficticious Letter to the Hudson County Community from Mayor Sal Vega
Published May 29, 2007 Cubans , New Jersey , Politics Leave a CommentNote, for background information necessary to understand this piece, please read this New York Times article here.
Hello friends,
My name is Silverio “Sal” Vega. I am the mayor of West New York, New Jersey, and am currently vying for a state senate seat against Union City, NJ mayor Brian P. Stack. The historical path the United States, and especially this wonderful 33rd District of New Jersey I call home, has followed to reach the present is littered with brilliant political campaigns. From Lyndon Johnson’s “Daisy” ad to James Carville’s “It’s the Economy, Stupid!” to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth ads, breathtakingly effective campaign propaganda grows abundantly in the American political field.
As a candidate for a political position myself, and one endorsed by the official local chapter of my party (the Hudson County Democratic Organization), I feel compelled to begin a personal crusade against effective campaigning. America does not need any more Dick Morrises or Karl Roves in its history books, and Michael Dukakis is looking pretty lonely as the flagship example of unintentional political satire in the modern era. While I have not yet mustered up the will to wear a helmet and drive a tank around West New York, I acknowledge that my completely avoidable political demise is necessary for the entertainment and education of political junkies across the nation. I have many factors against me, such as my overall likeability, the official endorsement of the Democratic Party, and the fact that I, as the son of Cuban refugees and an immigrant myself, can relate to the large immigrant population of my district. However, I understand that America needs someone to teach the new generations of politicians cooped up in their New England Ivy League schools how to lose every last percentage of the possible vote in an election where one might have stood a chance.
This mission is the driving force behind my actions in the past few days. As a Democrat, I know I should value the input of ethnic minorities as much as possible and keep them by my side. I know I should avoid using worn-out terminology about defending liberty associated with Republicans. I know I should also simultaneously be working to cleanse the Democratic image of being wishy-washy on defense and flip-flopping on all issues by adamantly declaring support for the troops and keeping my word at all times. This is precisely why I went out of the way to offend my own Cuban community, the second largest in the nation, this past week by refusing them a permit for the eighth annual Cuban Day Parade down Bergenline Avenue through West New York. To add a dash of controversy to this in case people feel forgiving towards me, I decided to profusely deny ever being at the parades of the past few years, obviously knowledgeable of the video evidence to the contrary. This is why I have targeted the Dominican population, the second-largest group of the county, as well, using name-calling tactics against Union City employees who happen to be Dominican. This is also why I rode my “Freedom Wagon” down to the Memorial Day service this weekend and eclipsed the veteran services with political propaganda, much to the chagrin of all Hudson County war veterans. As you can see, I have all my bases covered when it comes to political failure.
Wouldn’t you like to know the secrets to creating a fiasco of galactic proportions like I have? Well, ladies and gentlemen, you’re lucky that I’m willing to share my wisdom.
Once I lose the state senate seat to Brian Stack, I plan on holding on to the spotlight for dear life by educating young politicians in the ways of unforced failure. For this, I am planning on releasing the following publication:
In this all-inclusive guide, you’ll find priceless tips on how to lose elections, from lying about obviously factual events on screen to offending all sorts of racial minorities to angering the military. I will teach you how to disintegrate your image from clean-cut underling to corrupt, egotistical lunatic within days. You will never be taken seriously in any political circle again after you read my book.
Please buy my book! I will need the money when I am banished from Hudson County forever.
Sincerely,
Your Senator,
Sal Vega
I just thought I’d pop up from reading period for a moment to say: those of you who have never seen the classic British scifi series Doctor Who need to watch it RIGHT NOW. It’s on alluc.org. Studying is for dweebs. Incidentally, if you’re a sci fi geek at all, you need to check out Entertainment Weekly’s list of the best sci of the past 25 years. It’s devastating to productivity.
(guess how my studying is going? hi there, professor!)
Also, the ninth Doctor? Unbelievably cute.
Petros Live In Front of the Holyoke Center- a Life-Changing Experience
Published May 10, 2007 Hellenophilia , Pop Music 1 Comment
I have several confessions to make (some more obvious than others):
For one, I’m a sucker for anything Greek, from Demosthenes to Despina Vandi, Thucydides to Tzatziki. I’m convinced that part of the reason why the Spanish monarchy is so awesome is that Queen Sofia is Greek- and, therefore, so is HRH Prince Felipe (I have another confession to make on the side: I’ve always wanted to refer to someone in an article as HRH). It’s the reason I’m currently finishing up my second year of Modern Greek here at Harvard.
I also can’t resist catchy Euro pop trash- Duran Duran is my favorite band, and it only goes downhill from there. I will listen to almost anything if you tell me that it comes from across the proverbial pond. And, along with this taste, I also have a heightened ability to learn song lyrics, to make up for my abysmal acting skills.
Of course, when I found out that seemingly introverted I met in Annenberg one day was not only Greek, but an aspiring Greek pop star, I was hooked. Petros managed, within the four minutes of his now well-known music video, to diminish my maturity back to about age 12. I was singing, dancing, and forcing my friends to watch “Afroditi” within hours of having seen it for the first time myself.
So I guess my ultimate confession is that I know all the lyrics to “Afroditi” by heart, and, because I speak the language, I understand them, too. “Love is not a sin,” indeed.
Seeing Petros live, however, was something a bit out of this world. I never really associated Peter Shields that dude that lives in Kirkland with international sex symbol Petros, but this performance kind of forced me to. And I like it. You will, too, I promise. It’s like Justin Timberlake, but slightly more Harvard and in a foreign language.
Let me make one thing clear right off the bat: I started my blog because I needed an outlet for my thoughts and feelings during the 2004 elections, not for the prestige and loyal readership it might bring me. I just needed a personal creative space where I could jot some things down that someone might be able to Google.
Now, if my friends happen to read my blog, great. If they e-mail others about it, fantastic. If people I don’t even know check it out—and according to my hit counter, as many as 62 a day have—so much the better. And if, say, Harper’s, Rolling Stone, or any other publication ever wanted to publish some of my blog entries for money, I guess that’s their prerogative…
Look, if I wanted to be a “professional” print writer, I could easily do it. Last week I posted a very insightful piece on why Saturday Night Live is emerging from the bleak shadows of the past several years and may be on the cusp of experiencing a renaissance. Nearly three of the seven people who commented on the posting said they could envision the piece being published in the New York Times’ Arts & Leisure section. Hey, I didn’t say it, they did. And to be honest, by the looks of the section, they could use some new blood over there. Just saying.
The Onion is genius. And if any would like publish this blog and give the Indy money, that’d be cool.
First, the good news: I’m in. I have a seat at the seminar. The bad news? My computer’s battery is dying, and I only have an hour’s worth of battery power. But I’ll blog until it runs out of power. The rest, you’ll have to figure out on your own.
So, refresh for updates. Right now they’re stuffing goodie bags and sorting packets of lube and condoms, so I’m going to put my laptop on standby.
This year’s speaker is Megara Bell, of the Center for Sex and Culture. There’s a handout about the “Physiology of Pleasure” floating around, but I’m not sure what’s on it (didn’t grab one). It sort of looks like everyone up front is sitting down; maybe we’re about to get this show on the road? This year’s set-up is swank–I went to the first one, which was in a super-overcrowded common room in Adams House, and all the vagina-shaped cookies were gone by the time I got there. And it was about the temperature of a vagina in the room.
Sci Center B is the biggest classroom on campus, but it looks like they may actually fill it up. Also, there’s some serious AV components, including a video screen. Looks like everyone will get a good look at the vagina hand puppet!
Yay, orgasm-related swag! (Shirley just threw I <3 female orgasm t-shirts into the audience.)
Megara’s up. (“I feel like the rock star of sex!”) OMG, one of these things the other week–like 24 people were there. She concludes from the showing that Harvard loves sex; bless her for her faith in us.
More after the jump!
Continue reading ‘Liveblogging the Female Orgasm.’
Hey guys! Tomorrow at 7pm, eastern standard time, yours truly will be LIVEBLOGGING Harvard’s FEMALE ORGASM seminar. Just a heads-up!
400 already? How time flies. Anyway, Virginia apparently celebrates its colonial heritage by inviting the Queen of England back for a visit every 50 years.
The Associated Press had a boring old lede:
RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — Queen Elizabeth II arrived Thursday for the commemoration of Jamestown’s 400th anniversary and praised the cultural changes that have occurred since she last visited America’s first permanent English settlement 50 years ago.
But not USA Today!
RICHMOND — The British just can’t get away from their dreary weather.
Queen Elizabeth II arrived here Thursday, the first day of a six-day visit to the USA, bringing a drizzle of rain but carrying on with the usual ceremonies, including a speech, a walkabout, a meeting with Virginia Tech massacre survivors and a greeting by a group of Virginia Native Americans dressed in buckskins.
Sounds like a jolly good time. Perhaps USA Today could also have worked in an analogy between the Queen’s multifaceted speech and the various colors, levels, and frills of her quite intriging hat.
Looking wan from that string of all-nighters in Cabot? Can people identify you as a “Lamonster” from fifty-feet? Well, no more!
“Bronzer makes you look healthy, healthy, healthy,” said Olivier Échaudemaison, the makeup artistic designer for Guerlain. “Pale skin makes you look tired, but if you are wearing bronzer nobody knows you are tired underneath.”
Because nothing says “leisure class” like having the time and money to pour into making yourself look orange like Jessica Alba.
And besides, actually going to the beach is SUCH a hassle:
“Women today are on the go and they have no time or desire to sit down and sunbathe or wait overnight for a tanner to show its real color,” said Gracemarie Papaleo, assistant vice president for new product development at Lancôme USA. “With a bronzer, you get immediate results.”
I love it when people who work for makeup companies get all scientific and analytical about why I need to buy more makeup products.
In your omg-we’re-gonna-inherit-the-earth-just-as-it-blows-up news for the week:
You know those imperfect climate models global-warming skeptics doubt? National Geographic News reports that Arctic ice is actually melting faster than predicted.
“We’re about 30 years ahead of what the models show,” said Julienne Stroeve, lead author of the study and a researcher at the National Snow and Ice Data Center at the University of Colorado in Boulder.
For those who missed it, I direct your attention to this terrifying article (“Six Steps to Hell”) from the Guardian, in which Mark Lynas outlines the changes that will result from each degree Celsius the planet’s temperature increases. Lynas found all this out doing research for his new book Six Degrees: Our Future on a Hotter Planet. It’s not pretty.
On a lighter note, via Maud Newton’s fantastic blog, this meditation on the weirdness/surreality of a post-climate-change Earth. It actually sounds a lot like the trailer for Resident Evil: Extinction.
For more on global warming, check out Caroline’s article for last Thursday, “Double Burden,” about the greater effects of climate change on poorer countries.
